Forum Archive Topic #10
In Soviet DHN, Forum Trolls YOU!

FO: The RAU Gallery responds to someone's attempt to prank the DHN forums. The key word here, folks, is "attempt". Because the level of incompetence here has to be seen to be believed. I would suggest reading through the entire topic as it's quite hilarious, but I shall archive the condensed RAU portion of it here, along with a special bonus at the end... Take it away, fellas.

DOVEBLOB: I also just realized something else... "Lizeth", who got mad over pictures he didn't believe were really FO, sounds an awful lot like "Eliza" as in Eliza Gauger, the person who saw pictures of FO and couldn't figure out she's a woman. Hmmm....
Lizeth: This is slanderous. I have no connection with any "Lizeth Marry". The forged reviews, which have been fraudulently posted under my name are of a laughably poor standard, and to have them connected with me is again slanderous. I urge you to get in touch with whomever supplied you with them, and request that they take responsibility for their views under their own name. If they need tuition to improve their review style, I am willing to help them with that. Get in touch with me at E.geiger85@gmail.com. I am an expert writer/reviewer. In the meantime, please remove all references to me from that page.
Nucleo: Excuse me, sorry to interrupt here, but I just wanted to bring to your attention some articles that involve my person that could possibly count as "slanderous", too.

From this sketch, Mr. Lukyan Degorah is quoted as saying, "Wait until Nucleo falls asleep on the floor and tell Tomi there's a powdered donut underneath of him." Now, this could be construed as a personal attack on my character as it is certainly something I would never do. If there was a donut on the floor, I assure you that I would fully consume it before lying down to sleep on its area of rest.

In this sketch here... Okay, I understand that I had to follow along with what the script wanted me to do, but... The reality is, I would never have made such a miscalculation in the middle of a battle like that. While it did give my beloved wife a moment to show off her archery skills, the truth is I was in complete control of that situation and what you are seeing here is showbiz's artistic license gone amok.

And finally, on this page of the DHN website... There is a rather handsome drawing of me. It's not the drawing that is the problem...it's the description. Nowhere does it say what an incredibly sexy superstud I am, and I think that mistake should be rectified immediately.

Thank you for your prompt assistance in this matter.

Chance:

Nucleo wrote:
In this sketch here... Okay, I understand that I had to follow along with what the script wanted me to do, but... The reality is, I would never have made such a miscalculation in the middle of a battle like that. While it did give my beloved wife a moment to show off her archery skills, the truth is I was in complete control of that situation and what you are seeing here is showbiz's artistic license gone amok.

You fucked up, and you know it.

Nucleo: Please, no comments from the Peanut Gallery, thank you.
Chance: At least I don't get offended at the suggestion that I wouldn't devour every donut that's placed within my range of vision. And to think you blame your 80's obesity on the Overlord's drawing skills.
Nucleo: 80's cameras add 10 pounds.
Chance:

Then by my calculations, there's about 7.5 cameras on you in this picture.

Lukyan: And at least one that can pick up sound effects.
Nucleo: That was my stand-in double. My insurance company wouldn't allow me to get that close to flying block letters.
Chance: Someday or another, Nucleo, you are simply gonna have to face the facts: You are not the picture of perfection that you seem to think you are.
Nucleo: Someday or another, Mr. Tomasaro, you are going to have to face the simple fact that yes I am. In fact, I might just be a little too awesome.
Barack Obama: I am Barack Obama, and I approve that message.
Nucleo: See? Even he agrees.
Chance: I hate to break it to both of you, but I'm straight. Thank you.
Nucleo: Why haven't you hooked up with someone yet? What about Ms. Song Savis? You two had a lot in common. You both didn't like me when we first met.
Chance: I'm not so sure I like you now.
Nucleo: That doesn't answer the question.
Chance: And how many people do you know confide the details of their love life to their archaeology professor?
Lukyan: You know, you do kind of follow him around a lot.
Chance: You don't have a girlfriend either, so shut up.
Bananaquit:

Nucleo looks like those goats whose legs lock up and fall over when something scares them.

Crawl:

Lizeth: You guys aren't funny at all. This is stupid. I don't know why I even came back here. What is wrong with you?
Nucleo: ...? I was unaware that there was supposed to be anything funny in this topic...
Crawl: There's nothing funny about the tragic consequences of mountaindevil leg stiffness.

Robin: That was supposed to be an attack on the forums? Somehow, I'm reminded of this Link quote from The Legend of Zelda cartoon.
Image: Well, at least we got a good sketch out of it, but I still feel like it needs a little something extra. Not sure what, though...
Robin: I have an idea. How about another Greatest Hits compilation for Lord Vyce?
Image: You mean Troy? Didn't you already do one for him?
Robin: Yes, but not while simultaneously turning a song about the women's liberation movement into a peculiar tale of overeating.
Image: Oh, well, in that case, go right ahead.

THE RAU GALLERY PRESENTS:
Lord Vyce's Greatest Hits Part 2


(Please click to set this to music or it won't be as funny. Yes, we're getting more and more frank.)



I am Troy, hear me roar
And I am too big to ignore
And I've grown too much to go back to size 10's


'Cause I've heard it all before
And I've been down here on the floor
No one's ever gonna keep me down again



Oh, yes I am wide
'Cause I like eating chocolate cake


Yes, I've paid the price
Look how much weight I gained... 0o




If I have to, I can eat anything


I am large (LARGE!)
I am insatiable (INSATIABLE!)
I am LORRRRRRRRRRRD BOOOOOOOOMERANG!!


You can bend but never break me
'Cause it only serves to make me
Look even more like my namesake boomerang


And I come back even stronger
And I'm growing ever longer
When you throw me, I'll return to you again!


Oh, yes I am wide
'Cause I like eating chocolate cake



Yes, I've paid the price
Look how much weight I gained... 0o


If I have to, I can eat anything


I am large (LARGE!)
I am insatiable (INSATIABLE!)
I am LORRRRRRRRRRRD BOOOOOOOOMERANG!!


I am Troy, watch me grow
See me eating all your dough
As I spread my hungry arms across the land



But I'm still an embryo
With a long, long way to go
Until I have the whole world in my hands


Oh, yes I am wide
'Cause I like eating chocolate cake


Yes, I've paid the price
Look how much weight I gained... 0o


If I have to, I can eat anything



I am large (LARGE!)
I am insatiable (INSATIABLE!)
I am LORRRRRRRRRRRD BOOOOOOOOMERANG!!


Nucleo: .... ?? Image...does not exist...? She's not real? Does this mean...my whole life...has been an illusion?
Image: No, silly, Nuclee, I'm still here!
Nucleo: But how? If you exist, then what is this...
Nucleo: Oh, Moon-Man! You and your pranks!

GO FORWARD TO ADVENTURES IN SITE TRACKING #8: CHANCE IS REAL!

GO BACK TO ADVENTURES IN SITE TRACKING #7: AVOID THE ANNOYED

BACK TO THE RAU GALLERY

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